The Science of Patience: Why Youth Progress Is Biologically Non-Linear

This is the first of two posts in our series on the non-linearity of progress when working with young people. Prathiba, one of our coaches, talks about the "sturdy pilot" and explores some of the adolescent biology explaining this phenomenon.

Understanding the "Sturdy Pilot"

approach to coaching.

By Prathiba Arokiasamy

When coaching young people, I often come back to the 1% rule popularised by

James Clear: small, consistent improvements compound over time. Growth

rarely arrives in dramatic breakthroughs. I learned this lesson long before I became a coach, at a swimming pool with my daughter.

At three, after a long COVID break, she developed a fear of water, despite having

swum weekly since infancy. When pools reopened, we signed her up

immediately.

Day one ended in a meltdown poolside. Her teacher was kind but firm: she didn’t

make her go in. And so it continued, week after week; she refused to get in. Our

frustration grew and it felt like our time, money, and effort had been wasted.

Everything changed when we recognised that our frustration stemmed from

how narrowly we defined progress for an anxious three-year-old.

Once “complete the swimming lesson” stopped being the goal, progress showed

up everywhere else and we started to recognise it. Going to the pool was

something. Smiling at the teacher when saying “I don’t want to go in” felt really

positive. Then she started putting her feet in the water, and eventually, we got to

five minutes of swimming.

Today, she loves water. Progress didn’t come from the pressure we applied. It

came from redefining success.

Why progress rarely looks straightforward

This lesson mirrors what I see repeatedly in youth coaching. We often expect

success to be visible and fast: better grades, fewer breakdowns, higher

confidence. But real progress is usually quiet. The science backs this up. The prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for impulse control and self-reflection—is still under construction well into early adulthood. Adolescents literally don’t have consistent access to these skills yet.

Because their hardware is still developing, their growth won't be a straight line. It

happens through messy, real-world experiences. It shows up in subtle ways we

might miss: the athlete who stays despite feeling overwhelmed, or the player

who pauses for a second before snapping back at a teammate.

Subtle change is still real change

It’s easy to miss these internal shifts, but they matter most. While confidence in

adolescents has dropped significantly over the last decade, studies in the

Journal of Positive Psychology remind us that emotional awareness and

persistence are stronger predictors of long-term wellbeing than performance

outcomes alone.

What we choose to measure shapes both what we value and what we notice.

Coaching as a 'Sturdy Pilot'. This is where Dr. Becky Kennedy’s concept of the “Sturdy Pilot” comes in. She describes effective adults as a steady presence who can hold calm when young people cannot.

In youth coaching, this reframes the job. It’s not about how quickly we can force

a behaviour change, but how consistently we stay regulated ourselves. When a

coach signals safety through their tone and presence, the young person’s

nervous system shifts out of threat mode, making actual learning possible.

These moments may look unremarkable. But over time, they build resilience from

the inside out.

Redefining the scoreboard

Research from the Centre for Youth Impact shows that young people with at

least one trusted, non-judgmental adult report significantly higher resilience.

Growth compounds quietly through consistency, not quick fixes. If success is

measured only by visible wins, we miss the real work happening beneath the

surface. Youth coaching isn’t about producing flawless performers; it’s about

supporting developing humans.

When we redefine success as becoming rather than achieving, we don’t lower

the bar. We align it with how growth actually works—and with what young people

need to thrive long after the coaching ends.